What happens when you mix the overblown glitziness of "
Xanadu" and "
Can't Stop the Music" with the stupidity of "
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," the kinkiness of "
The Rocky Horror Picture Show," the production design of "
Barbarella," the outrageousness of "
The Who's Tommy," the glitter from "
The Brady Bunch Variety Hour," the costumes from "
Flash Gordon," the sort of locales seen in "
Logan's Run" and throw in some plot elements from "
Phantom of the Paradise" and The Holy Bible for good measure? You get "
The Apple," a quasi-obscure cacophony of music, dance, drugged-out visuals and bad acting. I freely admit that "
The Apple" is a terrible film, but it's so
spectacularly terrible and excessively ambitious that it's downright endearing. We're talking the absolute
epitome of cult movie tackiness. Legend has it that the original American preview audience was so disenchanted with the film that they rioted and pelted the screen with their complimentary soundtrack albums (which might partially explain why so few copies of the LP seem to exist today). That's my kinda movie.
The plot of the film is Alphie (George Gilmour) and Bibi (Mary Catherine Stewart), a wholseome folk singing duo from Moose Jaw, Canada, come to America (the movie was shot in Berlin) in a futuristic 1994(!) to enter a battle of the bands-type competition. There they catch the eye of Satanic music mogul Mr. Boogalow (Vladek Sheybal), who decides to sign them to Boogalow International Music (B.I.M.) and suck them into his den of debauchery. Bibi is quick to sign her soul away, but Alphie sees through the nefarious Mr. Boogalow's plans. Once Alphie's attempts to take Bibi away from a life of sex, drugs and rock n roll prove futile, he moves into a commune of renegade hippies led by a man who is actually God in disguise (though you'd hardly know that in the final print of the film). There's a more detailed scene-by-scene breakdown of the film at
Cool Cinema Trash.
As the film rolls on, it just keeps getting weirder and weirder. The title song is set in the bowels of hell, where Mr. Boogalow's protegee Pandi (Allan Love), clad only in a sparkly thong, tempts Bibi with a ridiculously oversized apple while keeping Alphie at bay. The denizens of Hell include pig-people, dogmen, Shaka Zulu warriors, a dude who's literally two-faced, others with no faces at all and a(n actual, actual,
actual) vampire. Then Mr. Boogalow launches into "
Master," a thinly-veiled song about being an S&M daddy. Next the once-wholesome Bibi launches into her music career by singing "
Speed," a frantic punk-pop ode to crystal meth. This is followed by a mandatory exercise interlude, a hallucinatory disco orgy sequence with drag queens and nearly nude chicks and dudes, and finally an abrupt, biblical hippie finale that simply has to be seen to be believed.
Did Bob Mackie regurgitate these outfits?
But the
weirdest thing about the film is that only many levels it's utterly exquisite. The production design is breathtaking. The dancers are abundant and in sync. The camera blocking and movements are phenomenal. The costumes are garishly '70s but they seem to have been meticulously designed. The songs stick in your head. Even the special effects -- which seem ridiculous by today's standards -- weren't bad for their time. It's apparent that this was a lavish production made with an international cast and crew.... who must've all been too high on coke, meth, poppers, quaaludes and any other available intoxicants to protest the
regal overindulgence of writer/director Menahem Golan (who went on to produce
an endless stream of popular b-movies throughout the '80s).
However, several editing anomalies bog down the final act. There's an audibly obvious and abrupt cut during the song "
Coming." As the movie nears its (preposterously absurd) conclusion, there's another abrupt cut right in the middle of the song "
Child of Love" to the final scene, which is set more than a year later. Originally the film included a transition during the song that showed Alphie and Bibi getting married and having a baby. Why this was removed is anyone's guess, as its exclusion serves to further degrade the film's narrative. The bitch of it is these sequences still exist (along with many other deleted and alternate sequences) and were seen very recently...
The deleted wedding scene
In 2008, there was a mix-up booking a print of the film for a midnight screening at L.A.'s
The Silent Movie Theatre, so MGM wound up sending over unchecked reels that were labeled "
Screening Print" for the theatre managers to run. One can only surmise this was the
original screening print. These reels included a completely different cut of the movie than that which has been released on TV, VHS and DVD. Apparently this print features fewer insert shots and random editing during the musical sequences, Dandi is made out to be more of a villain, the transition to the title song runs a little more smoothly, "
Coming" ends less abruptly and includes additional hallucination bits which feature Bibi topless in bed with Pandi and a group of nude men (who can be spied behind Dandi in the abrupt closing shot of the scene), the "
Child of Love" sequence remains intact, the head hippie transforms into Mr. Topps and sings "
Creation" and the mystical Cadillac seen in the finale of the widely available print is instead merely a splotch of glowing light. A few more specific details about these scenes are available at
The Idolater.
The deleted "Creation" song
This alternate print was run a couple times at The Silent Movie Theatre and wound up being screened again a few months later at
The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas. If anyone managed to get a copy of this cut (I'd be happy with so much as a crummy camcorded copy), I
desperately want to see it. I don't have much hope of getting a special edition DVD (particularly since the composer sued MGM over his lack of royalties from the DVD release in 2008), but it couldn't hurt to bug
Turner Classic Movies (which has free reign of MGM's library and has aired the film in the past) to preserve and air this rare cut before it's forever lost and/or destroyed. Or if there's some theatre manager with access to a telecine machine and a friendly relationship with someone at MGM,
I'd be your friend forever...
That's lyricist George S. Clinton & composer Cody Recht on the left and far right
The films's story was conceieved by Israeli husband and wife duo Coby and Iris Recht as a Hebrew musical. Menahem Golan pitched the idea of doing it as an English-language movie and got the Rechts to agree. Golan wrote the script, Coby composed the music, Iris came up with the lyrics. However, Iris's English wasn't stellar ("
mankind screamies for whatever bits of dreamies we might treat them to...") so an unknown named George S. Clinton was brought in to polish Iris's phraseology. The Rechts and Clinton shared songwriting credits, and all three appeared in bit roles in the film. Coby and Iris eventually divorced, but he's worked sporadically in film since, and George S. Clinton has had a long career as a film composer.
Yep, that's Harry Potter's Pomona Sprout getting a mammary massage.Most of the actors provided their own singing vocals. George Gilmour had been the frontman for a '60s Scottish rock band called
The Bo Weavels, and his smoldering looks and soulful singing voice landed him the role of Alphie. God love him, he didn't get the part based on his acting abilities. Apparently Gilmour is still singing, but he didn't further pursue a film career. Similarly, Allan Love got his start with the '60s British psych band
Opal Butterfly, then he released some solo material, set his sites on acting and eventually opened a restaurant (featured on "
Kitchen Nightmares") which he was forced to close due to dwindling profits in 2009. Grace Kennedy was a disco diva who was frequently seen on TV in the UK in the '70s and '80s (though her success never spread to this side of the pond). Ray Shell never had much of a film career, but he's been a star on the stage, having originated roles in "
Starlight Express" and "
Five Guys Named Moe." And as the sinister Mr. Boogalow, there was
Vladek Sheybal, who got his start on the Polish stage before becoming a recognizable character actor (who could
possibly forget that face?) from film and television worldwide.
This just leaves beautiful then-newbie Catherine Mary Stewart. CMS was training as a dancer at a school in London when she encountered a few of her classmates heading off to a cattle-call audition for the film so she tagged along, intending only to audition as a background dancer. Once inside, she inadvertently caught the attention of Menahem Golan. Although completely unprepared to audition for a major role, Golan encouraged her to sing and do a script reading. The next day, Golan called her back and informed her she'd been cast as Bibi.
Stewart later proved that she
can sing in the flick "
Scenes from the Goldmine," but in "
The Apple" she lipsank to prerecorded tracks provided by perennial back-up singer Mary Hylan. "It was a disappointment for me when they decided to hire Mary Hylan to sing," Stewart recently revealed to me. "I had been learning the songs and working with a coach in preparation for the movie. Singing had been a part of my training along with dance and acting. Even though the coach I was working with thought I would be able to do the work, the producers got cold feet and hired Mary, a professional singer, before we recorded anything. She was wonderful and I'm thrilled that I had her voice attached to my face, so it's all good in the end." Thanks so much for the explanation, CMS!
The movie was filmed in Germany in 1979 (not 1978, as imdb currently states) but distributors weren't able to generate much interest. Originally it was announced that the film would debut in the summer of 1980, but the release got pushed back. "
The Apple" finally opened in North America on November 21, 1980 -- a bad time of year to debut a movie. By debuting so late in November, it ensured the film would merely run for a few weeks, only to abruptly vanish to make room on screens for the tidal wave of holiday blockbusters. Receiving virtually no promotion or interest from the press (the one and
only vintage review I've found is from a Canadian newspaper), true to form, the film had vanished from cinemas by December 5th.
Paragon Home Video later released the movie, and that could've been that -- the movie could've fallen into a black hole along with tons of other now-forgotten films... except it spent a time in constant rotation on The Movie Channel and, as the years passed, "
The Apple" seems to have picked up momentum as a cult oddity. While it will never be as well-known or have the prestige of "
Rocky Horror" or "
Xanadu," the film has a small and devout cult following. And rightly so. It may have certain things in common with other movies, but "
The Apple" is
truly one-of-a-kind.
The soundtrack was released on vinyl by Cannon Records in 1980. Years ago, I read somewhere that the American release differs from one of the European releases (I believe it said the European LP included the extra verses to "
Master"), but I've never been able to substantiate this claim. As obscure as this movie is and as difficult as it is to find a copy of the LP, it's surprising that there's many,
many rips of the soundtrack circulating online. The problem is most of 'em suck -- and even the good rips aren't great. So I bought a sealed copy of the album and ripped it myself. Dunno if it's "
great" (there
are a few
anomalies) but my rip certainly sounds
much better than any that I've downloaded in the past. I've rearranged the songs to play the way they appear in the film, and have included alternates, ripped from the DVD.
Scans are included.
Please don't sue me too, Mr. Recht. The world loves these tacky songs.
The Apple Soundtrack
01. B.I.M. - Allan Love & Grace Kennedy
02. (Love the) Universal Melody - George Gilmour & Mary Hylan
03. Made for Me - Allan Love & Mary Hylan
04. Showbizness - Vladek Sheybal & Ray Shell
05. The Apple - Allan Love
06. Master - Vladek Sheybal, Allan Love, Grace Kennedy & Ray Shell
07. Speed - Mary Hylan
08. Where Has Love Gone? - George Gilmour
09. Cry for Me - George Gilmour & Mary Hylan
10. Coming - Grace Kennedy
11. I Found Me - Grace Kennedy
12. Child of Love - Joss Ackland, Mary Hylan & George Gilmour
13. Creation - Joss Ackland
BONUS TRACKS (DVD Rips):
14. BIM
15. Love, the Universal Melody
16. Made for Me
17. Showbizness
18. The Apple
19. Master (Additional Verses)
20. Speed
21. Where Has Love Gone?
22. National Fitness Hour
23. BIM (reprise)
24. Cry for Me
25. Coming (Additional Verse)
26. I Found Me - Grace Kennedy & Mary Hylan
27. Child of Love
28. Finale (Love, the Universal Melody)
29. The Apple (reprise)
DOWNLOAD LINKS:
Rapidshare, MultiUpload_________________________________
"The Apple" Gallery_________________________________
And remember! When selling your soul to an evil music mogul, it's always best to read the fine print. And to avoid taking harmless "little pills" given to you by his cronies. Cuz chances are Mr. Topps won't arrive in a flying Cadillac to take you to another planet and release you from your contract. And from your life. Damn, this movie's insane.
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!" As a result, although there's elements of Castle from beginning to end, this is really the Marcel Marceau film -- it's a mime picture with traces of Castle's patented cheeseball '60s horror showmanship.
