Annabelle's Wish Coloring Book

The 1997 film ANNABELLE'S WISH was boasted as if it were going to be the next instant holiday classic in the tradition of RUDOLPH and FROSTY THE SNOWMAN. Although it was a straight to video release (a slightly truncated version debuted on TV around a week after it hit video), there was quite a bit of tie-in merchandise, from the soundtrack album to books to Annabelle beanie babies. For a few years, it looked as though it might actually be an instant classic -- but then the video and CD went out of print, soon followed by the DVD, and now they're not even playing it on TV anymore... That's a shame because it IS one of the very best animated holiday films made since the '70s.


Each year at Christmas, Santa Claus grants animals the ability to talk for one day. A young calf named Annabelle has a different wish though -- she dreams of flying with Santa's reindeer. Meanwhile Annabelle's owner, a young, mute orphan named Billy, is struggling to stay with his penniless grandfather while his evil, rich aunt is trying to gain custody of the boy. As one can imagine, the movie is a tearjerky family holiday tale...

So here's one of the tie-in coloring books. There's not much else to say about it except: enjoy!

Annabelle's Wish: If You Believe Coloring Book

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
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OR
RapidShare, Sharebee (JPG Format)
Or
Issuu
OR
CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT! (Gallery)

One would think that I'd be posting Christmas stuff in December, but that's no fun... everyone does Christmas in December! As I've said before, I march to the beat of my own drum -- which sounds suspiciously like a kazoo -- so don't tell me I can't have Christmas at the end of February!

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The Wild Sounds of Satan's Sadists!

By the late '60s, the Hollywood studio system was crumbling and independent filmmakers were invading drive-ins with a vengeance. Many actors found themselves without studio contracts, and they had to seek work elsewhere. That probably explains how Russ Tamblyn (WEST SIDE STORY, THE HAUNTING) wound up starring in a biker flick... a film which killed his movie career.

SATAN'S SADISTS is the story of The Satans, an outlaw biker gang led by badass Anchor (Tamblyn). When their shenanigans result in murder, the gang heads for the hills (literally) to silence the only witnesses to their crime.

Harley Hatcher's instrumental theme for "Firewater" sums up the movie perfectly -- it's essentially a western in the guise of a biker flick, and was shot at Spahn Ranch (where the Manson family resided at the time), which was also used for locations on many classic westerns. Dubbed "The Citizen Kane of biker films," the film falls into some of the usual trappings of the bad drive-in b-movie, most notably in the script, which is riddled with unintentionally (??) hilarious dialogue. However, some of the performances are good, the soundtrack is awesome and there's some genuinely beautiful cinematography and inventively arty camerawork. The film was sold on the angle that it was very violent... and it's not your usual phony b-movie violence. Some of the images are extremely realistic and were probably pretty disturbing for 1969 audiences. At the very least, it's the first film to depict someone drowning in a toilet. SATAN'S SADISTS was successful (many cite it as director Al Adamson's best film) and a sequel was planned (also starring Tamblyn) but the sequel was completely restructured at the last minute, most of the footage with the bikers was cut, and it was ultimately released as the schlockterpiece DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN (!!).


The music for the film was composed by Harley Hatcher and performed by Hatcher, Paul Wibier and the Nightriders. It's hard to pin down a style because it's a mixture -- a little bubblegum, a little acid rock, some groovy instrumentals -- and it's very much of its time. The album's not easy to come by (I saw a sealed copy of it sell for $150 last year) and despite months of looking, I was never able to find the complete album for download anywhere... until now, just in time for the 40th anniversary of the movie! This is my own vinyl rip with a couple extras; 320 kbps.


01. Satan (Theme) - Paul Wibier
02. Gotta Stop That Feeling - The Nightriders
03. Nice Set... (dialogue)
04. Is It Better to Have Loved and Lost? - Paul Wibier
05. I'm On My Way Out - The Nightriders
06. Firewater - Harley Hatcher
07. I Like the Way You Work - The Nightriders
08. Baby How I Fell For You - The Nightriders
09. Anchor's Speech (dialogue) - Russ Tamblyn
10. Love in the Afternoon - Harley Hatcher
11. Can You Dig It? - Harley Hatcher
12. Traces of Love - Harley Hatcher
13. The Chase Is On - Harley Hatcher
14. Born Mean - The Nightriders
15. Vietnam (dialogue)
16. Satan (Alternate Version)
17. Radio Spot (30 second)
18. Radio Spot (15 second)

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, Sharebee, MultiUpload, Box

It's worth noting that the Troma DVD is out of print and not worth eBay scalper prices. In 2010 it was re-released as a Region 0 disc by Alpha Video -- seemingly with the same extras from the Troma disc -- and it sells for under $10. You can buy it at Oldies.com.

Remember! When vacationing in the desert, it's probably best not to sunbathe topless or to offer food to strangers. Make sure to avoid getting sand in your carburetor, and watch out for snakes. But enjoy your trip!

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There's no body in the Family Plot...

Loosely based on the novel "The Rainbird Pattern" by Victor Canning, Alfred Hitchcock's final film, FAMILY PLOT is the story of phony clairvoyant Blanche Tyler (Barbara Harris), whose lust for wealth leads her to track down a missing heir to a vast family fortune so she can reap rewards of her own. But while hot on the trail, Blanche and her boyfriend (Bruce Dern) cross paths with a nefarious pair of kidnappers/jewel thieves (William Devane, Karen Black), whose seemingly unrelated storyline runs parallel.

Although the film features many of the hallmarks of an Alfred Hitchcock movie -- from the elaborate camera setups to the multi-dimensional characters to the film's mystery and several intriguing twists -- it also contains a substantial amount of intentional comedy (some of which was ad-libbed -- a rarity for Hitch) and some really shoddy blue screen special effects (that the director was assured would look great on-screen. They didn't.). Many felt that the comedy was too broad for a Hitchcock film (though at the time, it wasn't particularly well known that he'd made one all-out comedy, 1955's pitch black flop THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY), and it was speculated that he'd lost his cinematic flair. Unfortunately, Mr. Hitchcock never had the opportunity to prove naysayers wrong -- he died before he could film his next movie, THE SHORT NIGHT.


There are several interesting stories about the casting of FAMILY PLOT (Karen Black turned down another role to appear in the film, and she had her heart set on playing Blanche, not Fran; Hitchcock wanted Pacino for the role that went to Bruce Dern), but the most interesting story is about Roy Thinnes. William Devane was the first choice to play Arthur Adamson, but when it was time to shoot the movie, the actor had prior commitments, so the role went to Thinnes. Partway into production, Devane became available, so Hitch had Thinnes fired without warning or explanation. Thinnes angrily tracked Hitchcock to a restaurant, where he proceeded to confront the legendary director. Hitch allegedly sat there speechless -- one really could hardly blame Thinnes for being upset, and Mr. Hitchcock had a guilty conscience and didn't know how to react. Following a tediously overlong staredown, a flustered and frustrated Thinnes left. Doubtlessly, Mr. Hitchcock breathed a sigh of relief. Many of the Arthur Adamson scenes were re-filmed with Devane, though Thinnes can still be seen in scenes at the church that were shot from a distance.


Although composer John Williams had a monstrous hit the previous year with his score for JAWS, his memorable score for FAMILY PLOT has never been issued in its entirety on an album. The music is every bit as essential to this as any of Hitch's other films, so that's a real travesty. But you gotta love the internet...

A year or so ago, a bootleg of the complete score surfaced over at Isbum's Place. Unlike many bootleg scores, it's not ripped from the movie itself, and the sound quality's pretty exceptional. Several people have asked me about this, and I considered posting it a while ago, but there were rumors that the score was going to get an official release. Still no official release, so here it is. Super-duper, extra-special thanks to Brad, who found this undeservedly overlooked musical masterpiece on a torrent, drastically improved the quality, shared it with the world, and created this fantastic cover:

01. Opening Credits/Seance
02. Find the Heir
03. The Trader/Diamond Deal
04. Finding Mr. Constantine
05. Arthur & Fran
06. Seance with Mrs. Cookson (Long Version)
07. The Graveyard
08. Maloney Visits Adamson
09. Old Friends (Short Version)
10. Spotting Blanche's House
11. Revelations
12. Coming Home
13. On the Road (Long Version)
14. Almost Killed
15. Pursuit/Maloney's Death
16. Share and Share Alike
17. At the Funeral
18. Mrs. Maloney's Confession
19. Looking for Mr. Arthur Adamson
20. An Unexpected Visit
21. The Note
22. Blanche Meets Adamson/The Bishop
23. Into the House
24. George Finds Blanche
25. The Escape
26. The Diamond Revealed/End Credits
27. The Graveyard (Alternate Version)
28. Family Plot Theme (Pop Version)
29. Maloney's Death (Alternate Version)
30. Blanche Meets Adamson/The Bishop (Alternate Version)
31. Revelations (Alternate Version)
32. Maloney's Death (Short Version)
33. End Credits (Official Version)

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, Sharebee

Covers (not included in zip files above)
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It's the 40th Anniversary of The Cube!

For those who've wondered where the hell the picture and slogan on my new site banner came from, here's your answer.

It was 40 years ago today when THE CUBE debuted on NBC's aptly named showcase "Experiment in Television." In the grand tradition of other twisted, difficult to summarize, psychological mindfuck movies like WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? and 12 MONKEYS, THE CUBE is a surreal, brilliantly enigmatic masterpiece of weirdness and depravity. Co-written by Muppeteers Jim Henson and Jerry Juhl, directed by Henson and featuring fellow Muppeteer Jerry Nelson in a small but memorable role, the film focuses on a nameless man (referred to as "Martin" in some press releases but not in the movie itself) who's trapped in a "cube" of a room with no idea how he got there. Soon the panels in the walls begin to open and an assortment of oddballs wander in, seemingly conjure furniture at will, and play mindgames with our hero (Richard Schaal), making him question reality and doubt his own sanity. Visitors include a chummy janitor with a vast supply of chocolate rabbits and ramadars, a monk who speaks in gibberish ("All is all. Is is."), an increasingly hostile "black militant," cops, doctors, nymphs, wacky old ladies, clowns, scientists and more! Unfortunately, the man isn't allowed to leave because he doesn't have a door of his own.


The film aired on television a grand total of two times, but it left an indelible impression on those who caught it, and it's alleged to be the inspiration for several other films (most notably the three CUBE horror flicks). The film got further exposure throughout the '70s and '80s in classrooms, of all places. Yep, somehow the movie wound up being made available to high schools through AV libraries. In 2003, several people with vividly vague memories of the film banded together to try to find some information about it. Their efforts paid off, and prints of the movie were found and eventually leaked on the internet. There, it gained the attention of legions of Muppet and cult movie fans (myself included). That could have been the end of the story, but not in this instance...


Being a talky, stagy film, THE CUBE seemed like a perfect candidate for a transition to the stage. There have been two live stage productions of the show thus far: the first was in America and the second in Germany, under the title "Kubus." The German production garnered some notoriety -- there's an elaborate "synopsis" video (which is essentially an overlong trailer/condensed version of the play) and several news stories that are available on YouTube.


With an ever expanding cult audience, it's hardly surprising that THE CUBE has even gotten the Pink Floyd treatment. A version of the film dubbed "Inside of a Dark Dream" is circulating online, complete with a Pink Floyd sync-up. With all of this attention there's no telling what the future holds for the little film that was lost and forgotten for decades...


Although the rights for the film reside with the Henson company, they've shown very little interest in the movie. On one hand, it's frustrating because the film cries out for a new digital transfer (they've put it on i-tunes, but it's the exact same print that's been circulating for several years); on the other hand, since it's slipped under the radar, it's had a pretty illustrious life on online video sites, getting far more exposure than it ever would have on DVD.


The first print that surfaced online was in black and white, but more recently a color print became available. While the color print is of a higher quality, the film almost plays better in black and white -- the colors are a bit askew (I personally find the colored lights outside of the doors distracting) and the handful of blue-screen special effects aren't as impressive in color (though there's an easy fix: just turn off the color!).

Most of you guys hit my site for the downloads... since the movie itself is so unusual, I'm following suit by doing something weird -- I didn't upload THE CUBE. Instead, below you'll find a bunch of links that are related to the film, including two to The Pirate Bay, where you can snag different versions of the movie from torrents.

Watch It Now!
Google Video (Color Version)
Google Video ("Inside of a Dark Dream," Pink Floyd Version)

Torrents/Downloads
i-tunes (buy it for $9.99)
The Pirate Bay (Color Version )
The Pirate Bay (Pink Floyd Version)

Websites:
Jim Henson's The Cube
(Great content & intelligent discussion, requires sign-up)

Kubus:
Synopsis (Video)
Roger Hoffmann. com
(lots of Kubus goodies scattered throughout)

Skeeter the evil lawn gnome enthusiastically endorses this film!
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The Aristokittens Meet Jiminy Cricket

Back in the '60s and '70s, Disney was featured in a lot of Gold Key and Whitman comic books. Some of the comics were tie-ins with their films while others, like this one, featured original stories with their characters. As the title says, "The Aristokittens Meet Jiminy Cricket" from 1971 features the rather strange pairing of characters from THE ARISTOCATS with PINNOCHIO's conscience, Jiminy Cricket.


This one's my own scan... and apologies, the cover's gotten pretty beaten up in the past 38 years! And also noteworthy, included at the end of the gallery (but not in the pdf or zip files) is a copy of the original black and white cover art.

The Aristokittens Meet Jiminy Cricket
1971, Gold Key Publishing, 36 pages

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, Sharebee (PDF Format)
OR
RapidShare, Sharebee (JPG Format)
OR
CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT! (Gallery)

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Fox Kids Club Magazine #20

If you were of a cartoon-watching age in the mid-90s, here's an awesome piece of ephemera for you! This is the 20th issue of Fox Kids' Club's "Totally Kids" magazine from Autumn 1995. The magazine is jammed full of articles, games and ads centered around the Fox Kids' morning lineup with shows like "The Tick," "Bobby's World," "Casper," "Life with Louie," "The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers," "Eek the Cat," "Spider-Man," "X-Men," "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?," and more! Also includes a 2-page comic with "Batman and Robin," an ad for the re-release of the STAR WARS trilogy on video and the popular R&B group Boyz II Men is featured on several pages.

Totally Kids Magazine
Autumn 1995, 36 pages

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, Sharebee (PDF Format)
OR
RapidShare, Sharebee (JPG Format)
OR
CLICK HERE TO VIEW IT! (Gallery)

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We're Absolute Beginners...

1985's ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS was expected to be a breakout hit that established the British film industry as a force to be reckoned with... instead, it nearly destroyed the industry altogether. Director Julien Temple is known both for having an eye for detail and being an unflinching perfectionist, which doubtlessly drained the movie's budget -- money ran out several times and they had to put production on hiatus. Then when the film was finally released, it was an enormous financial disaster.

(Loosely) based on the novel by Colin MacInnes, the story centers on a 19 year old London photographer in the late 1950s, who's living in an era of rebellion and the burgeoning rock and roll movement. Describing the plot is a bit problematic because it's all over the map... mainly it's a love story, but there's a slew of unnecessary detours. What the movie lacks in story, it more than makes up for in style -- there's a phenomenal production design, overblown sets, elaborate camerawork, countless great performances and a stellar soundtrack. Somebody on imdb described it as 'an '80s MOULIN ROUGE,' and that comparison's pretty on the mark.


There's a wide array of song styles and each production number is unique. For example, Ray Davies sings his infectiously catchy ditty "Quiet Life" while dancing through a set that's essentially a life-sized dollhouse. David Bowie's "That's Motivation" is like an '80s version of a 1940s musical number, complete with elaborate, oversized setpieces. Several of the jazzy dance numbers seem uncannily reminiscent of WEST SIDE STORY. There's an in-studio recording session of "Little Cat (You've Never Had It So Good)" that feels (and sounds!) like something from "American Bandstand." Sade's "Killer Blow" is like a 1930s nightclub number, and Patsy Kensit's "Having It All" feels like something from a 1950s beatnik bar.


One of the problems, however, is that all of the musical numbers stop the film dead in its tracks and contribute little or nothing to the overall story (not to mention that most of the lipsynching is terrible). David Bowie and Ray Davies have two of the film's best segments, but their characters seem unnecessary -- it probably would have been a better movie without them. The story is further bogged down by a sequence with race rioting, which comes pretty much out of the blue and seems like it belongs in another film altogether. It feels like there may be huge chunks of the story missing (leading me to believe there may be a lot of footage left on the cutting room floor) and, at 108 minutes, there's really too much jammed in that goes nowhere. Still, one can't help but admire the film's ambition.

Not surprisingly, the movie's built up a small cult fanbase. On television and home video, the film looked terrible -- when they cropped the oversized picture to fit on a TV screen, Temple's artistic vision was completely destroyed, which is a travesty since one of the film's strongest merits is its artiness. Thankfully, it's available now on DVD (one of those stupid double-sided discs) complete with a beautiful widescreen print. Unfortunately, aside from a tiny photo gallery, the disc has no other extras. However, Video Detective's got a vintage home video trailer, and Bowie's full-length, film-noir music video can be found on YouTube.

Here in the USA (where the film was endlessly promoted, virtually ignored and instantly forgotten) the incredible soundtrack double LP was butchered. Although I actually prefer the art on the U.S. version (which more faithfully represents the stylishness of the film, IMO), the entire second album was missing -- meaning, amongst others, no "Little Cat" and "Ted Ain't Ded," two of the film's most memorable numbers. And, like many of the albums on this site, it's been out of print in this country for decades. So here's the complete soundtrack, taken from the UK release. 320 CD rip.

01. Absolute Beginners - David Bowie
02. Killer Blow - Sade
03. Have You Ever Had It Blue? - The Style Council
04. Quiet Life - Ray Davies
05. Va Va Voom - Gil Evans
06. That's Motivation - David Bowie
07. Having It All - Eighth Wonder with Patsy Kensit
08. Rodrigo Bay - Working Week
09. Selling Out - Slim Gaillard
10. Riot City - Jerry Dammers
11. Boogie Stop Shuffle - Jerry Dammers
12. Ted Ain't Ded - Tenpole Tudor
13. Volare - David Bowie
14. Napoli - Clive Langer
15. Little Cat (You've Never Had It So Good) - Jonas
16. Better Git It In Your Soul (The Hot and the Cool) - Gil Evans
17. So What? (Lyric Version) - Smiley Culture
18. Absolute Beginners (refrain) - Gil Evans

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, MegaUpload

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Style & Substance: The Complete Series

In early 1998, there were two attempts to satirize Martha Stewart (pre-insider trading scandal) in sitcom format. The first, and better of the two, was "Style & Substance" with Jean Smart ("Designing Women" "24") and Nancy McKeon; the second was the Judith Light ("Who's the Boss," "Ugly Betty") vehicle "The Simple Life." Allegedly Stewart, who had her own show on the network, hit the roof when she found out about the two shows... though she wasn't able to stop them from airing. Unfortunately, after airing "Style" on Monday nights paired with one year wonder "George & Leo" for a month, the series was canceled, though it later returned on low-rated Wednesday nights with "The Nanny," filling the slot that was quickly vacated by "The Simple Life" (where "Style" garnered decent ratings -- after the network had given up on it). Both shows were instantly forgotten... yet we still have moronic reruns of "The Nanny" (proving once again that there's little justice in the world).

From creator Peter Tolan ("Rescue Me," "The Larry Sanders Show"), "Style & Substance" is the story of Chelsea Stevens (Jean Smart, "Designing Women," "24"), a passive-aggressive, neurotic, obsessive nutcase (she throws dinner parties for imaginary guests and has constructed a bizarre fantasyland in her attic) who built a media empire devoted to "good style and gracious living." Unfortunately, Chelsea's empire winds up being bought out by the evil Ferber Corporation and the domestic diva begrudgingly finds herself having to answer to a new boss: naive Midwesterner Jane Sokol (Nancy McKeon). Episodes usually revolved around Chelsea's outlandish eccentricites and straight-man Jane's attempts to deal with this "weirdsmobile." Others in their lives include Trudy Weissman (Linda Kash), an abrasive food stylist; interior designer Mr. John (Joseph Maher), a gossipy "old queen;" Bobby (Vyto Ruginis), a pretentious, womanizing lawyer; Elvis-wannabe Earl (Alan Autry), Chelsea's handyman/gardener/spiritual advisor; and Terry (Heath Hyche), Chelsea's lovable but thoroughly inept airhead assistant.

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The series could've truly become great if it hadn't gotten canceled so quickly -- the show started off strong, but the cast and crew really started finding their groove as the series progressed. In press for the show, Jean Smart said, "I think for the first time, this role finally convinces me that I AM funny. But Nancy helps make me funny, and I don't ever forget that." Nancy McKeon later remarked, "Even though it was only one season, I had some of the best times of my life doing 'Style & Substance.'"


I highly doubt this will ever get an official DVD release (it's owned by Disney, and they rarely even release their popular kids' TV shows on disc), so here's rips of the entire series (in production order), with a preview clip from each of the first seven episodes. Click on episode titles for screen-caps.

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Episode 1: "Pilot"

Soon after Jane starts her new job, she finds Chelsea meddling in her personal life. Guest-stars Peter Krause ("Sports Night," "Six Feet Under," "Dirty Sexy Money").

Note: This rip is from the network broadcast (as is "A Recipe for Disaster"); all of the other episodes in this post are higher quality, taken from VHS press screeners.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 2: "A Trip to Chelseatown"

Jane finds herself temporarily rooming with Chelsea, and she soon discovers the domestic diva is even more of a crackpot than she initially realized.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 3: "Terry, We Hardly Knew Ye"

Chelsea makes Jane fire Terry; Trudy and Mr. John each fawn over his replacement (Robert Gant, "Queer as Folk").

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 4: "Office Management for Beginners"

When Chelsea manipulates Jane and Bobby to find money in the budget for a extravagant automobile, it ignites an escalating office war.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 5: "Chelsea's Ex"

When Chelsea bumps into her ex-husband (Doug Sheehan), she becomes convinced that he wants her back. Meanwhile, Mr. John is forced by his life partner to tell his aged parents (Eric Christmas, Frances Bay) that he's gay... a trait which his coworkers believe may be inherited.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 6: "The Boss & Other Disasters"

When Jane's boss (John O'Hurley) comes to town, she's determined to make a good impression on him, but unusual circumstances arise during his stay that make him suicidal.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 7: "Chelsea Gets An Opinion"

To offset some bad press, Chelsea foolishly decides to go on a talk show that's modeled after "Politically Incorrect." Guest stars Harry Shearer, Chris Darden, Buzz Aldren, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Vanna White and series creator Peter Tolan.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 8: "A Recipe for Disaster"

Jane surprises Chelsea by inviting her childhood idol (Jean Stapleton) to appear on the show, but they soon discover the original domestic diva is off her rocker. Meanwhile, office workers are plagued with bizarre sex dreams.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile
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Episode 9: "No Soap, Romeo"

Jane begins dating a clingy, self-involved soap star (Larry Poindexter) and haplessly encourages him to quit his job. Meanwhile, Terry is bullied by a creepy delivery man (series writer/producer Gary Janetti) and Chelsea finds herself addicted to soap operas.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:

MegaUpload, MultiUpload, Hotfile, ZShare

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Episode 10: "The Plate"

Chelsea becomes consumed with getting her hands on Jane's antique plate... but there's harsh consequences when it finally winds up in her clutches. Meanwhile, Trudy discovers her boyfriend really is too good to be true.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Episode 11: "Chelsea's First Date"

Chelsea agrees to a date with an old friend (Michael Nouri) and soon finds herself standing at the altar before God and Carol Channing.

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile
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Episode 12: "I Went to a Garden Party"

Chelsea's scheme to win an award by hosting a quaint function for a rehab organization hits a major snag when she unknowingly drugs her guests. Meanwhile, Trudy writes a letter of complaint to a candy company on Terry's behalf. Guest-stars Christine Estabrook ("Desperate Housewives").

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile
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Episode 13: "Do Not Go Squealing Into That Good Night"

Chelsea is blamed when her neighbor's pig winds up dead, but the real culprit is the one person no one would ever suspect.

NOTE: This finale episode was never broadcast in the USA!

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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BONUS: Style & Substance Press Kit

Here's the complete press kit, which features a bunch of information about the genesis of the show, bios, cast lists, 8x10 photos, Chelsea's Helpful Hints, plus a full-page magazine ad (above) heralding the premiere and a vintage review!

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
MegaUpload, Hotfile

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Cartoon Sound Effects!

Here's a collection of close to 100 sound effects from the Hanna Barbera archives. Also includes a few cartoon character answering machine messages. I don't have much else to say about it, other than I'm not typing out the 97-track track listing! 320 rip.

Hanna Barbara Cartoon Sound FX


DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, MegaUpload

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Happy VD!

It's Valentine's Day, so time once again for sexual depravity...

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WARNING! What follows is shockingly perverse... but innocently cute! Think Dr. Seuss for perverts. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

Companion

Dick is standing up today,
Pointing ahead, leading the way.
From the hairs on his feet to his bald, shiny head,
He's standing there bouncing, as solid as lead.

When he awoke, it was quite a surprise,
As he opened his slender, oval-shaped eye,
Arose from his slumber and sprang forth to play
And be my companion on this lonesome day.

Muffy the beaver is Dick's other friend,
But now he must wait for her blisters to mend,
So I'll stroke his ego and make him feel good,
Although I do that much more than I should.

Still I'll admit this, it's really no lie,
I long for the day I can kiss him goodbye.
I just can't reach him -- and boy have I tried!
It's just a convenience I have been denied.

Dick will get tired soon and then shrink away,
Leaving me lying alone and dismayed.
I hope he'll come back soon with all of my might
To stay up and play with me all through the night!

Brought to you in part by Skeeter the Evil Lawn Gnome.
And the letters "F" and "U."

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V.D. is for Everybody!

You can download a high-quality version of this completely bizarre, infectiously catchy 1974 ad from The Internet Archive! And here's a 'not quite ready for prime time' print ad from the same "VD is for Everybody" campaign....

Fun fact: It's less traumatic to be beaten senseless by a group of drunken rednecks than to find your parents homemade sex tape.

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'80s Hot Movie Hits!

Been a while since I've posted music, so back to what I've got a reputation for: '80s soundtracks. Er... or I guess this is a knock-off of a bunch of '80s soundtracks by The Beat Street Band.

01. Coming Around Again (Heartburn)
02. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (Mannequin)
03. Jump Start (Beverly Hills Cop II)
04. Shakedown (Beverly Hills Cop II)
05. La Bamba
06. (I've Had) The Time of My Life (Dirty Dancing)
07. She's Like the Wind (Dirty Dancing)
08. Hazy Shade of Winter (Less Than Zero)
09. Light of Day
10. What a Wonderful World (Good Morning Vietnam)
11. Respect Yourself (Blind Date)
12. Come on Let's Go (La Bamba)
13. Cross My Broken Heart (Beverly Hills Cop II)
14. Somewhere Out There (An American Tail)

DOWNLOAD LINKS:
RapidShare, Sharebee


Fun Fact: It's difficult to abduct a fat person... but not impossible!
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